


Your Words On My Skin

by IBoatedHere



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Background Anna/Mary, Background Relationships, College, High School, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, background Abe/Rob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 16:51:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7900453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate AU: Your soulmates first thoughts about you are written on your skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Words On My Skin

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to mexicanhellbats for being my beta.

Ben doesn’t get his mark until he turns 18.

He’s years late.

 

********

 

At twelve Ben watches Peggy Shippen stick out her arm to show off _that’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen_ looping around her wrist and up her forearm in immaculate cursive. She shows it off. Preens over it and runs her fingertip across the font.

Anna scoffs when she sees it and turns back to her lunch. She has _I like those shoes_ written across the top of her shoulder blade.

“It could be worse,” Abigail tells her gently. She doesn’t have a mark either but doesn’t seem terribly concerned about it. (She gets one a few years later. A small and shakily written ‘mama’ right below the bone of her ankle).

William Bradford has the word _douchebag_ stamped across the back of his hand, a label he’s doing his best to live up to.

John Simcoe has _asshole_ on the side of his neck.

“I guess,” Anna mumbles and takes another bite of her sandwich.

Ben smiles at her and tries not to think about how no one is thinking about him at all.

 

******

 

There are different types of marks.

Platonic. Familial. People will get multiple marks on their body.

Each mark means something different to each person.

At fifteen Ben has seen every one of his classmates discover their mark.

He’s the only one without one and he’s starting to resent it.

“You'll get one," Anna tells him, a little tipsy on Gatorade and vodka.

He's heard that over and over. For his father and brother, guidance counselor and teachers. Everyone tells him it's only a matter of time. It'll happen.

He's tired of waiting.

He's a little drunk off Red Bull and whatever else was in the punch bowl that he ladled into his cup so he says “I don't care if I never get it. I don't even want it. You're all ridiculous letting this control you. Fuck soul mates. Like a mark is supposed to determine who I end up with? Fuck that.”

Anna looks at him with sad eyes.

She could always see right through him.

 

******

 

He has other things to focus on.

He wants to get valedictorian.

He wants to get A’s on all his finals.

He wants to get into Yale.

He wants to push the idea of soulmates out of his mind.

He finds it very hard to do when it’s all around him.

There are movies about it and sitcoms that devote episodes to it. It’s on the covers of magazines-- _Top Ten Tips For Finding Your Soulmate Today_ \-- and all over the internet with site after site dedicated to helping people narrow down their search.

What’s worse is witnessing it in person. It’s like he can’t walk down the street without seeing two people’s marks light up and the amazed look of realization on their faces when they figure out they’ve just met the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with.

The cashier at Dunkin Donuts handing change to the woman in front of him.

Two runners crossing paths in the park.

John Andre, the exchange student from England walks into his sixth period civics class and the mark on Peggy’s skin lights up in a brilliant red. He pulls on the edge of his sleeve and his mark, a simple oh my is royal blue.

Peggy starts to cry and people clap.

Ben’s brother busting into his room and shoving his arm under Ben’s nose. His words nice eyes are now bright green and stand out sharply against his pale skin.

“Whatever,” Ben says as he pushes Sam’s arm away. “She has terrible taste. Your eyes aren’t even that nice.”

It’s a tried-and-true insult, one that Ben’s been using for year because Sam can’t come up with a comeback for it. He can’t mock Ben’s mark-he doesn’t have one- and he can’t point that out without getting severely punished by their father.

Sam only smirks and thankfully spares Ben all the details on his new found soul mate and flops onto Ben’s bed, displacing a few pillows and books as he stretches out.

“Are you worried?”

His voice is so small and sincere that Ben looks away from his laptop and scans his face for any kind of malice. Anything that’ll tell him that Sam doesn’t really care, that he just wants to draw Ben’s true feelings out of him and then turn around and laugh. He doesn’t even live here anymore, there’s only so much his father could do to punish him.

But Sam is looking back with wide, worried, eyes.

“I worry about you. I know dad does too and I just….I want to know how you’re doing.”

They don’t want him to end up like one of the people his father’s church has to help. The ones that have been driven to the brink of madness by loneliness and isolation. Their own family and friends turn their back on them. They view them as a lost cause. Ben wouldn’t be the first person in the world to not have a mark, not by a long shot, but there’s no comfort to be found there.

“I’m okay,” he says. It sounds weak to his own ears and Sam props himself up on his elbow. “I’ve gotten used to it.” Truth. “I’ve accepted it.” Half truth. “I don’t even want a soul mate anyways.” Lie.

Sam doesn’t look fully convinced but stands anyways and ruffles Ben’s hair on the way out the door.

 

******

 

_I don’t want a soulmate. I don’t need a soulmate. I don’t want a soulmate. I don’t need a soulmate._

He repeats those words so often to himself he feels like they’re going to show up on his skin.

 

******

 

Ben steps out of the shower on the day of graduation worrying about where he left his speech and if his gown is going to be wrinkled and if they’re going to be late even though he still has two full hours before they need to leave the house when he notices words printed low on his hip.

_I’m gonna marry you._

He stares at the mark in the mirror but doesn’t touch it. Like he’s afraid he’s going to wipe them away, like they’re not actually real.

I don’t want a soulmate. I don’t need a soulmate.

He sits down on the edge of his bed then puts his head and in his hands and starts to cry.

When he finally picks himself up and puts himself back together his father is waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs holding his speech.

Sam is in a chair in the living room tapping his foot impatiently but there’s a proud smile on his face.

Reverend Tallmadge straightens Ben’s tie then asks him if he’s been crying.

“Everything’s going to change,” he tells him and lets him think he’s only talking about graduation.

 

******

 

Caleb gets his mark when he's five.

He’s years early.

 

*******

 

He comes home after playing in the orchard all day and his mom stops him on the second step up the porch.

She hooks her finger into the collar of his shirt and pulls then smiles.

Once she reads it the smile falters and she pushes him towards his father who is reading the newspaper and rocking back and forth on the porch swing.

_Socks with sandals. Disgusting._

He laughs and looks down at Caleb’s bare, filthy feet.

“Well at least we know at some point he'll be wearing shoes.”

 

******

 

Caleb loves his mark.

Loves the boy that’ll think it even more.

He shows his mark off to everyone, pulling the collar of his shirt down as he follows his mother around the market, in the department store, down at the docks with his father to show off that he’s got a soul mate out there somewhere.

He doesn’t understand why all he gets are tight lipped smiles and nods. Why they’re not gushing over it the way he wants them to. The way he does.

He’s drawn picture after picture of the mark. He writes the words better than he writes his own name.

He writes it using every color crayon in the box then decides he likes the blue the best.

Once the fridge is covered he moves on and starts drawing his soul mate.

A boy with long legs and bright yellow hair. He uses the same blue for his eyes that he used when he drew the mark.

“How do you know that’s what he looks like?” His mother asks.

“I just do,” he answers as he sticks it on the fridge over the rest.

 

*******

 

He’s the only one in his kindergarten class that has his mark.

His classmates gather around to stare at it and ask questions.

“Did it hurt?”

“When does it change color? My mom’s is pink.”

“Is it going to go away because you got it so early?”

The teacher has to herd everyone back to their seats so she can start class but kids still look over their shoulders to stare at him.

While his teacher’s not looking he bends his neck to the side to show them the very beginning of it visible above his shirt.

Their eyes go wide and Caleb’s never felt more special.

 

*******

 

In middle school Caleb gets into his first real fight.

The other kids are starting to get their marks and there’s a lot of competition over who has the best one.

Caleb loves his mark more now than he did when he first got it.

He thinks it’s funny and fitting and he’s not offended at all but his classmates are getting marks like _you’re beautiful_ and _whoa, nice eyes,/em >...it makes Caleb the odd man out and not in a good way._

A boy in Caleb’s sixth period english class takes a look at his mark then says, “your soul mate sounds like a judgemental asshole,” and Caleb is on him before he can even finish the last word.

Mrs. Brewster has to leave work early to pick up her son.

He's in the principal's office with his hands bandaged and an ice pack over his eye.

“I hope you at least won,” is how she chooses to break the long stretch of silence between the office and the car. “Honestly, Caleb, you should know better. When someone says something to you that you don't like-.”

“He didn't say it to me, he said it about him.”

“Who?”

“My soulmate.”

“Caleb, you don't even know him.”

“I do.”

“No, you don't.”

“I will someday.”

“But you don't right now and you can't be getting into fights because of him. He doesn't need you to protect him.”

“But I want to.”

She sighs. “Lord, I hope he knows how to handle you.”

******

 

Caleb loves watching people meet their soulmate.

He loves watching mark's change colors. Some start at the beginning and work their way along while others seem to burst out from the middle.

He loves the look on people’s faces when the figure it out, when they look away from their soulmate and down at their mark, watch it change color for a few seconds, then look up again.

He watches every movie about it. Reads every book and magazine.

There’s someone out there for him. A perfect match. They’ll spend the rest of their lives together.

He can’t wait to meet him.

 

******

 

Ben goes to Yale in the fall.

 

*******

 

Caleb gets into NYU.

 

*****

 

They both know that 80% of people with marks meet their soulmate in college.

 

******

 

Ben's wanted to go to Yale forever. There are photos of him tucked in the attic of him in a tiny Yale sweatshirt.

Sam called him a nerd.

His father said it was nice to have goals set early in life.

 

*******

 

Caleb goes to NYU to get out of his small town.

People from all over the country, all over the world come to New York City.

This is his best chance to find him.

********

 

Caleb’s two months into the school year when the waiter at the campus coffee shop gets his order wrong three times.

“I’m sorry,” the guy says. He’s about Caleb’s height with lighter hair pulled back at the nape of his neck. “Sorry. I’ll go remake it. My tip is going way down, isn’t it? I’ll go remake it, it’s just a lot of stress in the beginning of the year, you know? And my father- don’t even get me started on him, he wanted me to go to Columbia.”

Abe, his nametag reads, prattles on about his family and how his father wanted him to get into law and how Abe thought about not even going to college and buying a plot of land in the middle of nowhere and becoming a farmer.

“I could grow something really obscure. I don’t know, like, cabbages or something. That would really piss him off.”

He’s off again on another tangent about how he’ll never live up to the glory of his brother and Caleb thinks, _man, this guy can really talk._

Three weeks later, without Caleb even realizing it, it seems like they’re friends.

Or at least friendly enough for Abe to find him in the library and grab his biology notes right out of his notebook.

“I slept in, mind if I take a look at these? Thanks.”

Apparently they’re close enough for Abe to ask what his soul mark is without even looking up from his book.

“I can only see a part of it beneath your collar.”

“Socks with Sandals. Disgusting.”

Abe hums but doesn’t comment further which is good. Caleb would hate to have to punch his newest, and so far, only friend.

“I have _does he ever shut up?_ on my knee.”

Caleb huffs a laugh. “That’s funny, that’s what I thought when we first- oh shit.”

Abe watches Caleb yank his t-shirt aside with an unimpressed look.

“It’s black, asshole. So is mine. It would have changed immediately.”

“Sometimes it takes awhile. I’ve read stories about that.”

“That’s rare and you know it.”

“I had to double check.”

“Rude. But the feeling of relief is mutual.” Then he looks at Caleb’s feet. White socks stuffed into Birkenstocks. “Do you wear those all the time?”

“I try to. I never know when it’ll happen. It’s tough in the winter.”

Abe raises his eyebrows and says, “you could at least get cuter socks,” before he goes back to his book.

 

******

 

Ben’s in the campus bookstore trying to pick out a mug he can send home to his father and eavesdropping on a couple of seniors who are bitching about it being a Barnes & Noble now and how corporate it is.

He hides the Starbucks cup he bought at the in-store cafe behind the book he’s holding but only feels a little guilty about it.

It was convenient and after spending the first month of classes getting confused and lost all over campus and the second month fighting off some serious homesickness. He needs a little convenience. A little familiarity.

His mark is still the same color. That’s the only things that’s stayed the same in his life.

He’s trying not to let it bother him. It’s only been two months and it’s not like he’s really gone out of his way to meet people. But still.

“Hey.”

Ben jumps at the voice and the guy standing right beside him, he was too busy listening to the upperclassmen to notice.

The guy puts his hands out to steady Ben, the mug he’s holding and his latte but the book falls to the floor earning both of them dirty looks from everyone in the vicinity.

“Oh, man, sorry,” he bends down and picks up the book. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, you didn’t, it’s fine. I wasn’t paying attention.” Ben looks up and thinks _of fucking course you’re cute and tall and I’m an idiot._ “It’s fine. What’s up?” Then he cringes and the guys eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles.

“You take Econ with Shaffer? I think you’re in my class.”

“That’s the 8 o’clock one, right?”

“Yes and it’s killing me. I don’t know why I decided to sign up for a class that early. Everyone told me not to.”

Ben nods along but doesn’t say anything. Early mornings don’t really bother him.

“Sorry, I’m Nathan, by the way. I should have introduced myself first.” He sticks out his hand and Ben fumbles a bit because he’s down the book but he still has half a coffee in one hand and a mug in the other. Nathan laughs too loud for the tight indoor space and waves him off. “Don’t worry about it. Handshakes are so formal anyways.”

“Ben Tallmadge.”

Nathan smiles again, softer this time and the crinkles are nearly as pronounced. “It’s nice to meet you. Do you have any idea what’s going on in that class? Because I am lost.”

Ben has a basic understanding. It’s really not that difficult and he tries not to judge. He doesn’t know Nathan at all. Maybe he’s got a bigger workload. Maybe he doesn’t something with his weekends instead of holing up in his dorm room with Easy Mac, textbooks, and cliff notes, used only as a reference, of course.

“I could use a little more help, I guess.”

“Thank god. Do you want to study with me? Do you have class tonight? After six? That’s when I’m free but I’m flexible.”

Ben does not have class on any nights because he stacked all his classes in the morning and early afternoon.

“I’m free.”

“Great. Do you want to meet at Bass at six?”

Ben nods. He feels a little swept up.

“Make sure you bring your ID or they won’t let you in.”

“Yeah, I learned that the hard way.”

He got all the way from his room to the library on Chapel street only to be turned away because he forgot his ID in his room.

“Great. I’ll see you then.” 

“My book,” Ben says when Nathan walks away. He has the latte filled hand out towards him. If it were empty his fingers might be curling around Nathan’s shoulder. Might be.

“Right.” He turns back around and wedges the book between Ben’s torso and elbow for him.

Ben waits until he’s out of the store and the door shuts behind him before he’s shoving everything he’s holding onto the nearest shelf and ducks into the restroom.

It’s empty but he doubts if he’d care if it wasn’t as he pulls the waistband of his jeans down just enough to see his mark.

It’s black.

It looks the same as it did when he woke up this morning and every morning since he got it.

He leans back against the door and tries not to feel too disappointed from the false alarm.

 

******

 

Caleb plows into Abe’s room without knocking and hoists his leg onto his desk causing a few sheets of loose leaf paper to float to the floor.

“What do you think?”

Abe is face to foot with Caleb’s sandals and smiley jack o'lantern socks.

“They’re great,” he says dryly.

“They’re festive. Are you ready to go?”

Abe stands and grabs his jacket off the back off his twin bed. “We’re going to a party, you’re really going to wear those?”

“There are lots of people at a party. He could be there.”

“You’re crazy. Your soulmate will find you eventually.”

“Why wait any longer than I have to?”

“What are you going to do when it’s December and there’s three feet of snow on the ground?”

“I already thought about that. Those socks have snowmen on them.”

 

*******

 

“Ben, I’m begging you, put down the book and come out with me.”

“I have an English paper I need to write. I haven’t even started.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Ben types a few more words on his laptop then says, “I have to revise the rough draft.”

“Who does that?”

“I do.”

“You haven’t been to a single party since you got here. You should go out. Meet people.”

Ben thinks this is Nathan’s indirect way of talking about soul mates. He’s never said the words. Never brought up his own mark or asked Ben about his and Ben has responded in kind. They seem to be the only two people on campus not talking openly about it.

They’ve talked about everything else though.

Nathan’s majoring in education. Ben knows all about his family and where he grew up. Nathan’s a talker but he listened intently when Ben told him about home.

“Come on,” Nathan prods again. “It’s Halloween. At least show up for the free candy.”

“Bring me back some.”

Nathan stares hard at the side of his head before he stomps towards the door. Ben hides his smile but just barely.

“No candy for hermits, Benjamin Tallmadge.”

 

*******

 

The walk back to their rooms is long and arduous.

Caleb has an Air Head stuck in his back teeth and Abe had enough punch to make him wobble dangerously close to the edge of the sidewalk no matter how many times Caleb pulls him over.

“You didn’t see anyone you liked there?” Abe asks.

“The mark is still black, isn’t it?”

“Look. I get waiting. I guess. In theory. But I’m sure your soul mate won’t care if you find someone to make out with in the meantime. Especially at college when that’s like, the time to make out with strangers.”

“Probably wouldn’t.”

“Then why don’t you? I do.”

“Ha. You wish.”

Abe is surprisingly coordinated when he pushes Caleb off the sidewalk.

 

*******

 

Nathan gets back around two in the morning.

Ben only knows this because he’s still up working on his third version of his rough draft.

Nathan pushes his door open, face covered in orange fluorescent paint, flings a handful of mini Snickers at him, and takes off down the hall.

 

******

 

“My dad’s being an asshole again.” Abe sets down a plate of brownies on Caleb’s bed then sits down at the foot of it. Winter break is a week away and Abe’s been dreading going home.

“Where did you get these?” Caleb asks as he reaches for one.

“One of my roommates made them.”

“Okay, these definitely have pot in them.”

Abe examines the one he has in his hand carefully then shrugs and takes a big bite.

“That’ll really piss your dad off,” Caleb says then has to pound on Abe’s back when he laughs and starts to choke.

Thirty minutes later the brownies are gone and Abe’s lying on the floor with his feet up on Caleb’s bed and Caleb has his face mashed into his pillow with his legs over Abe’s.

He’s wearing socks with snowflakes on them today.

“I wish I could just find him, you know? I’m tired of waiting. I got this thing when I was twelve.”

Caleb snorts. “That’s nothing. Got mine when I was five.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“Nope. Coolest kid in school, right here.”

“I’d go crazy if I had to wait that long.”

“I’m dealing with it.”

Caleb just sees the tip of Abe’s finger over the edge of the mattress as it points to him.

“You wear sandals in ten degree weather. That’s not dealing with it. That’s desperation.”

“Maybe I’m desperate then.”

“What if- you know how are marks aren’t visible with our cloths on- what if we meet them and we don’t know it because we can’t see our own marks change. Or they can see it. What if they’re both hidden. What if we meet and walk away and never see them again. Like we’re on the subway or whatever.”

“You just know. That’s what everyone says. You just feel it. The words and the colors are just confirmation.”

“I feel like I’m going to miss him. I know I am.”

“You’re high and paranoid right now. Try not to think about anything.”

“What do you think he’s doing right now?”

“How the hell would I know what your soulmate is doing right now?”

“Not mine, yours.”

Caleb tries to focus on the pattern in the ceiling then shuts his eyes tight. It’s hard to come up with something when he’s high and he hates it. He feels even further away from him, wherever he is.

“I don’t know. But I hope he’s happy.”

 

******

 

The glass shatters and Nathan’s laughing, still too loud, and Ben’s pulling him by his coat sleeves to get him running.

The path is slippery and Nathan keeps repeating, “I didn’t mean to break it, I didn’t mean to break it,” over and over behind him.

They run a few blocks before Ben decides it’s okay to slow down.

Ben leans back against the building to catch his breath.

Nathan flops back right beside him breathing just as hard but every exhale comes out like a laugh.

He looks different in the moonlight and Ben twists so his shoulder is against the brick and he’s facing him.

“What did you think when you first met me?”

Nathan takes a deep breath and holds it, like he knows what he says next is going to be important.

“I thought.” His head lolls to the side so they’re eye to eye. “I hope this guy takes good notes. Or something like that.”

Ben smiles softly then tips back so both shoulders are against the wall.

“That’s not it, is it?”

Ben shakes his head. “Not even close.”

“Did it change color when we met?”

“No. It took me so long to get it I just thought maybe I was different. Maybe it’s different for me.”

Nathan doesn't apologize and Ben’s grateful. Instead he says, “I knew it couldn’t have been me anyways. I don’t even have a mark.”

Ben’s head snaps to the side. His temple hits the brick but it doesn't even hurt.

Nathan is reckless and fast paced. He goes to Halloween parties alone. He drinks on deserted roads in the dead of winter and accidentally breaks windows of empty buildings with a snowball with a rock inside.

He’s Ben’s best friend and no one is looking or waiting for him.

“Do you not want one?”

Nathan shrugs. He looks unperturbed.

“I don’t know. It would be nice I guess.”

“You don’t worry about what it means?”

“It means I was born free,” he says with his smile and his laugh and Ben wants to believe him. “What does yours say?”

Ben thinks momentarily about showing instead of telling. Lifting his shirt and peeling back his jeans and letting Nathan trace the words with his fingertips.

But it feels a lot like betrayal. Like cheating on someone he doesn't even know.

“He wants to marry me.”

Ben lets himself say _he_ for the first time and it feels better than he thought it would.

Nathan smiles all soft and gentle then swipes at his shoulder.

“Let's get out of here before the cops show. Keeps a clean record for your future husband.”

“I wasn't the one that broke the window,” Ben tells him.

Nathan laughs and slings an arm over his shoulder.

 

******

 

“Robert Townsend.”

“Who the hell is that?”

“My soul mate!”

Caleb stops dead in his tracks.

Abe didn’t go home for Christmas break and didn’t accept Caleb’s invitation to go home with him either.

He stayed in the city and met his soulmate, just like Caleb wanted to do.

“I saw him and I thought it's him. I just knew just like you said I would. Caleb, I can't wait for you to meet him. He's a little rough around the edges when you first meet him, I mean, you know what my mark says but he warms up well. I actually think your soulmate and Rob will get along great so hurry up and get on that.”

Abe laughs but Caleb doesn't.

He's been trying since he turned five.

He's tired of waiting.

 

*******

 

“I found her! I was in line at Trader Joe’s and she was in front of me. She had really pretty hair and I watched the words on the back of her neck light up. I tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around and looked at my feet and mine changed colors too. She's great. Her name is Mary….”

Ben listens to Anna go on about Mary for another twenty minutes.

He's happy for her, of course, but she's the fifth person that week in Ben's small circle to find their match and it’s getting to be a bit much.

“Anna.”

She cuts herself off mid word. “Yeah?”

“I have to go.”

“Oh.” And then, “Oh, I’m so sorry going on and on like that. I just….when you meet them you just want to tell everyone. I didn’t think.”

“Really, it’s fine. I’m happy for you. I just have to go. I have to get to class.”

Nathan lifts his head at the lie and Ben turns around in his desk chair so he doesn’t have to face him.

“I’ll call you later, okay? We’ll talk more.”

“You know you really don’t have to.”

“I want to,” he says and he can practically hear Anna’s smile in her goodbye.

“A friend found their match?” Nathan asks.

“Yeah. From high school. She doesn’t know I have a mark so…”

“Why wouldn’t you tell her?”

“I didn't tell anyone. I didn't get it until I was 18 and by then I was tired of people asking about it so I just told everyone I didn't want one and to shut up about it. I was fine. Then I got it.”

“Why don't you tell her now?”

“And steal her thunder? She'd kill me.”

 

*****

 

Ben follows Nathan home for the summer.

“Welcome to the Middle of Nowhere Connecticut,” he says when Ben gets out of the car. “Not a lot to do and I apologize in advance for the boredom.”

They spend a lot of time at the lake, passing a bottle of sunscreen between them and still managing to get burnt.

Nathan’s mom clucks her tongue at the state of their shoulders when they come home for the night and help her make dinner.

“Bring more tomorrow,” she tells them and Nathan rolls his eyes behind her back.

Mrs. Hale has a mark on her arm. Only the word you is visible from beneath the sleeve of her t-shirt.

If she’s at all concerned about Nathan not having a mark she doesn’t show it.

 

*******

 

Caleb lets his parents talk him into going on vacation with them.

“It’ll be fun. It’ll take your mind off things,” his mother says and he knows what she’s talking about.

They’re getting wedding invitations weekly now and his Facebook feed is filled with people snapping pics with their soulmates and changing their relationship status.

His father says, “it’s all paid for,” and that’s all it takes for him to agree.

They camp right outside of Boston and his parents wrestle him into some real shoes before they set off on a hike.

“It’s only for an hour, Caleb. Your soulmate will understand. You can have them back when we go to Boston at the end of the week. It's a compromise. I don't want to hear that your feet hurt either.” 

 

******

 

“What if you don’t want to marry him?”

“Who?” 

Nathan bumps a bare shoulder into Ben’s.

“Your soulmate, obviously.”

They’re watching the sunset over the lake and Ben swats at a mosquito that’s buzzing by his ear.

Nathan’s hair is still damp. 

“What if he’s not what you expected? What if you’re not into him?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“It just seems a little forced. Like you don’t have any say in who you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with. You’re just supposed to fall in love with this guy.” 

“I think it just happens. You don't have any control over it.”

“That's what I'm saying. What if you meet someone and they're perfect for you but you're not their soulmate?”

Nathan's moved closer and their touching from shoulder to hip in a long expanse of exposed skin. 

“I don't know.”

“Do you just let them go because they don't have a stupid mark on their skin?” Nathan snaps, agitation clearly growing. “I don’t get it.”

 _You don’t have one, you wouldn’t get it_ , Ben thinks and just barely keeps it in. 

“Sometimes I wish I had one,” he says so quietly that Ben almost doesn’t hear it. 

Nathan tucks his knees to his chest and looks out over the water. 

Ben wraps an arm around him sighs in relief when Nathan doesn’t move away. 

 

*******

 

Caleb’s parents wake him up early so they can catch the train into Boston.

“You know it runs like, every ten minutes, right? It’s not like we can miss it.”

His mother just tosses his sandals at him and keeps cooking breakfast over the fire. 

 

******

 

Nathan wakes Ben up by ripping all the covers off of him and yanking the pillow out from beneath his head.

When Ben cracks an eye open Nathan’s standing there fully dressed with a cup of coffee in his hand. 

Ben reaches for it but Nathan leans away. “Yours is downstairs. Get up, we’re going on a trip.”

An hour later Ben is dressed and sipping from a thermos as Nathan drives up I-84 towards Boston. 

“Are you okay?” Ben asks once they cross the Mass line. 

“If you’re referring to my breakdown last night then yeah, I’m okay.”

Ben watches the way Nathan grips the steering wheel just a little bit tighter. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. It just gets to be a lot sometimes. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about it, you know?”

Ben nods. He understands. Even though he has a mark now he went through years of what ifs. 

“I know how people without marks ends up.”

Ben turns his body towards him. “That’s not going to happen with you. Everyone loves you. You make everyone love you,” he jokes. 

“That’s what everyone says and then they find their soulmate and they suddenly don’t have time for me anymore. It’s like I’ve been replaced.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

Nathan hums and Ben puts his hand on his shoulder.

“You’re my best friend.”

“Someday your soulmate will be your best friend.”

“My soulmate will understand how important you are. If he doesn’t then I don’t want him.”

Nathan shakes his head. “I don’t don’t think it works like that but thanks. I mean it.”

Ben smiles at him. “So do I.”

 

******

 

Caleb and his parents easily catch the train out of Braintree. 

 

******

 

Ben and Nathan make it to Riverside just in time and have to squeeze between the doors as they close. 

 

*******

 

They all get to Park Street Station within thirty seconds of each other.

 

******

 

“So what are we doing today?” Ben asks as they’re walking up the stairs. 

“I don’t know. Thought we’d just walk around.”

“Walk around? You don’t have a plan?”

“Not everything in life requires a plan, Ben.” 

 

******

 

“You can hang out with us or go off and do your own thing,” Caleb’s father says. “It’s up to you.”

“I’ll stick around until after lunch.”

“He wants us to buy him lunch.”

“He’s working the system. Good for him.”

 

******

 

Ben’s trying to get a timeline out of Nathan as they walk up the stairs. 

“We could go to a few museums first and then get something to eat. I haven’t been to the aquarium since seventh grade field trip. Or we could get something to eat first.”

 

******

 

Caleb is trying, and failing, to convince his parents that he’s here for more than just the free food.

“I go back to school in three weeks, of course I want to spend time with you. If that time just so happens to include a free meal every now and then….”

 

******

 

They’re too deep in their conversations to see the other coming.

If they had, Ben might have stepped out of the way.

Caleb might have let him pass without a second thought. 

But they slam right into each other. 

 

*******

 

Ben looks the guy over, settles on his feet and thinks _socks with sandals. Disgusting._

 

*******

 

Caleb looks the guy over, settles on his face and his blue eyes and thinks _I’m gonna marry you._

 

******

 

“Sorry,” Ben mumbles and steps around him.

 

******

 

Caleb watches his back as he walks away shoulder to shoulder with another guy. 

“Caleb,” his mother says very gently. “Honey. Look.”

She grabs his elbow and drags him towards a storefront. 

He can see his mark clearly in the window. 

Bright blue now.

Like the crayon he used when he was little.

Like the guys eyes.

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah. Him?” She tips her head down the sidewalk. He’s halfway down it by now, elbowing his friend in the side, acting like nothing has happened and Caleb has the horrifying thought that maybe nothing did. Maybe he’s not his match. Maybe it’s one sided. Surely that’s happened before. 

His father lays a hand on his shoulder and pushes. “What the hell are you waiting for, go get him.”

 

******

 

Ben’s staring down at his phone and trying to understand the direction the map is pointing them.

“If we keep going straight there’s a bakery we could hit. It’s got four stars on Yelp.”

Nathan yawns and flicks his sunglasses on from the top of his head. “Or we could go left and just see where it takes us.”

Ben rolls his eyes and starts to say that a little guidance is a good thing in a big city but there’s a shout from behind them and when they turn it’s the guy in the sandals running down the sidewalk. 

He collides into Ben for a second time and Ben steadies him with his hands on his elbows. 

 

*******

 

Caleb yanks his collar to the side to show him his mark then lets his eyes sweep over the guy. 

There’s nothing on his arms or his neck so it must be hidden and Caleb’s about two seconds away from putting his hands on him and checking for himself when the guy lifts his shirt and hooks a thumb into the waist of his jeans to reveal _I’m gonna marry him_ on his hip, bright gold and shimmering.

“Yeah,” Caleb’s voice is rough with emotion. “That’s it. That’s right. You’re it.”

His soulmate slowly lets go of his shirt and his jeans and the mark is covered but Caleb knows it’s there. His thoughts on that boys skin. 

“I’m Caleb. I’ve been looking for you since I was five.”

He stares at Caleb, eyes a little red rimmed and shoulders tense before he takes a deep breath and they sag. 

Caleb reads it and the stretching silence as disappointment.

“Look, okay, I'm sorry I'm not-.” He waves a hand at his own body and then at his soulmates. “I'm sorry I'm not like you, you know, I'm not this beautiful thing and maybe you're upset about that. I'm probably not what you expected.”

His soulmate slowly shakes his head and starts to laugh. 

 

******

 

Ben thinks he's the most beautiful person he's ever seen. 

 

******

 

“Look,” Caleb says above the laughter. People are starting to stare at them. “Do you want to go somewhere and talk. Get coffee or something?” 

He rolls his eyes then starts towards Caleb. 

 

*******

 

Ben crosses the distance and kisses him. 

 

*****

 

Caleb kisses him back. 

Clutches at his waist while his soul mate holds the side of his face.

 

*******

 

“I’m Ben,” He says when they part. He keeps his hands on Caleb’s face and Caleb’s fingers curl tighter into his shirt. He feels one of Caleb’s hands work it’s way beneath his shirt and the pads of his fingers brush across the mark. It feels like his skin’s on fire. His lips barely touch Caleb’s when he says, “You have no idea how happy I am to meet you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna level with ya, Nathan is a punk bitch to write. I keep wanting to pair him with Ben and I literally have to restrain myself because I can't do that to Caleb. In the first draft I killed him off and in the second I had them kiss so this is me meeting half way.


End file.
